Here's a quiz from facebook that someone just sent me:
1. Do you believe people sometimes activate the 911 system just so they have a story to tell thier friends and family?
a) Heavens no! Why would someone do that.
b) Sometimes, but then again it gives me a good story.
c) Absolutely!
2. Have you ever wiped your feet "after coming out of someones home"?
a) Oh yeah! I have even thrown them away before getting in the truck. Used their trash can as a matter of fact.
b) Sometimes, but that is just the way it goes.
c) I would never do something as insulting as that. I am sure they were getting ready to clean up before we got there.
3. Have you ever deliberately called a patient the wrong name just for enjoyment?
a) Golly gee, no! How disrespectful!
b) Only once, and I was sorry.
c) No, that would me to inquire what their real name is so I could call them by a different name. Too much effort!
4. Have you ever just opened the door to the ambulance, pointed to the cot, said "Sit", and drove to the hospital without saying another word?
a) Seriously, people do that? That is an atrocity.
b) Every run!
c) Only if they have trouble hearing or language impaired.
5. Have you ever provoked a patient to antagonize the police just so you can watch them get tazed?
a) You are kidding, right?
b) No, I render care to enough peole who have been tazed. I don't need to create more work.
c) Hell yes! I don't care who you are that's some funny shit!
b) No, I render care to enough peole who have been tazed. I don't need to create more work.
c) Hell yes! I don't care who you are that's some funny shit!
6. Have you ever prompted a faking trauma patient into saying their different parts of their body hurt just so you can cut their $100.00 jeans, $300.00 coat, and $75.00 shirt off their lying ass body?
a) Who prompts? Just start cutting! Hold them down if necessary. Lying pieces of sh*t!
b) OMG! Who does this? That is horrible.
c) No, why make more work for yourself.
7. Do you think EMS should be able to issue cab vouchers?
a) No! Obviously if they called 911, they need help.
b) In some cases this would be appropriate.
c) Why can't dispatchers just fax them out and save me the trouble?
8. Have you ever told a patient the voices in their head actually would prefer they stay home and not call again?
a) Yes, yes I have and I will not apoligize for it.
b) No, easier to haul them in than to come back in two hours.
c) I would never knownly mess with a person's psychosis.
9. Have you ever "accidently/deliberately" broke something each time you go to a frequent flyer's house?
a) Too much paperwork.
b) I am not even going to dignify this question with an answer!
c) Judge & Punish, baby! Lets get it on!
10. Have you ever made a patient cry from a well deserved EMS-Come-To-Jesus talk?
a) No, easier to just haul them to the ER.
b) I hate this test! You people are horrible!
c) I have tears on the fender of the squad where most dweebs put storks
wow.....some of these questions are pretty far out there. Deliberatly breaking something in a house? Egging on psych calls? And what exactly is a EMS-Come to Jesus talk??
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9 comments:
Hello Ambulance Mommy,
As I fully expect a submission from you for the forth edition of "The Handove," (see Rescuing Providence) I'll leave it to somebody else from here to represent the site. Any takers?
I've never purposely broken anything in anyone's house, frequent flier or otherwise.
I've never egged on a psych patient. I've thought about it, but that's another story.
It's funny that you mention the "Come to Jesus talk"... I was discussing this with a coworker tonight who has never heard of the phrase.
A Come to Jesus talk is one of those unabashedly honest conversations. Where you ditch the PC talk and tell a patient exactly how it is. With me it's more often than not a patient who is complaining about going to triage with their headache that they've had for two hours.
ohh! Ok, I've never heard of it phrased that way. I think I've heard it called "straight talk"
Thanks Epi :)
And Mike...mmmmm, I'm working on it. I've been thinking for days. Fingers crossed no one drinks to a major stuper tonight while I'm on a standby, and maybe, just maybe, I can pull something off!
I have had a Come to Jesus talk with a patient. I've never provoked a patient to antagonize the police but I have provoked a fellow crew member so our friend who is a police officer would taze him. One of these days...
EMS chick, seriously? ok, you need to write a post about that!!!!
I think that I give at least 2 or 3 EMS Come to Jesus talks per week. Usually it's frank, honest information about their medical conditions or what the results of their drug/alcohol/activity choices will be, as dang near everyone follows the same pattern and thinks that they are different than everyone else.
Picture waking the young first or second time heroin user up with Narcan. That's the perfect time for an EMS Come to Jesus talk.
Heroine overdoses are my favorite calls, and we would always mess with them while they were waking up. I find Come-to-Jesus talks don't work with them...so occasionally we would have a laugh at their expense. I already know I am going to hell...no need to tell me!
That is great. I always tell them the voices think they should go to another doctor.
While doing ride-along's for my basic, the Paramedic I was shadowing under actually gave 2 come-to-jesus talks to patients, and by the 3rd one, had me giving them. Damn frequent fliers. :D
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